ME: Ah ha! (Approaches THEM with fingers poised like a crab claw.) Pinch and a punch for the first of the month!
THEM: (Retaliates with a fierce kick to the ME's shin.) Slap and a kick for being so quick!
The sad tangled web weaved by the twelve times yearly tradition - The First Day of the Month. What is so deformed in our genetic make-up that we think this is actually fun?