My Goal for Merriment

It's amazing really, how suddenly I realized.  There is this girl in my year who I have always admired and liked.  She is a pretty, sweet girl, with big, bright, bold ideas that she extends affectionately to you with a vivacious flick of black hair.  She bounces and laughs, and triggers the laughs of all around her, like kinetic energy passed onto us all.  She is a person that it is delightful to talk to, even though she stuns the intelligence straight out of you.  And today I suddenly realized. 

This is how it happened.  We were all at the State Library, on a tour of the third level.  We were all walking together in a group along an aisle of desks and chairs.  All the chairs were perfectly in line with the desks except for one, which was askew.  She walked in front, and as she came to where the chair stuck out askew, she turned with a great motherly sweep of hair and arms and tucked it sweetly and lovingly into the desk, before spiralling around to throw me a smile and a shrug. 

And that was when I realized.  Like that song - suddenly I see, this is what I want to be.  Bright, bouncing, motherly, a delight to those around me.  Simply exuuuuuuding warmth and wonder.  Merry!  Positively merry!  Sounds like a goal, but maybe not a realistic one, because I am too cynical!  (Sigh of despair as I face plant in the pillow in perfect Kathleen Kelly "I don't actually know him" style!  {from You've Got Mail which is the I-ching of my wisdom.})  Anyway, don't you think that she sounds like a great character for a book?