Monday, May 16

Goodnight Dear Void

In my favourite movie of all times, my favourite fictional person of all times says:

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."


Well.  What can I say?  The person who I aspire to be most like has said exactly what was on my tongue.  Every word of it.

I think this about my life now, the life I've thrown together as a possibility for the future.  Am I doing what I'm doing because I want to, because I enjoy it?  Or do I plan to trot down the path I've laid out because it makes sense?  Because it seems like the logical idea? 

If I was to be entirely free of all choice and opinion, I would work in a book store, reading aloud to whoever will listen.  Read in old people's homes.  Buy a book every month.  Attend a writer's group.  Recite at a poetry group.  Run a reading group.  Perform with a theatre troupe.  Make music on the top of a wind blown hill.  Write a book, damn it.  Publish a book.  Receive fan mail and reply to every single one of those innocent, little letters.  Hang pictures on my fridge from children I've read to.  Bicycle to work.  Carry flowers with me wherever I go.  Have company for dinner once a week.  And in general, live my life vibrantly, surrounded by people and books. 

What would you do?

Goodnight dear void. 

7 comments:

  1. That is the most amazing list of aspirations. And I say this because I share absolutely every one of them.

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  2. That is a great quote. Imagine how much more confident and happy a place this planet would be if only we all listened to and followed our hearts.

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  3. Oh wow! My dears, I'm feeling so related to, which is a wonderful and fluffy feeling. Isn't it strange how you feel like this? How do you act? Is it something that you grow out of, or have to act on straight away to avoid life-long regret?

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  4. What a great list! And surely you can incorporate many of those things into the life and path you've chosen.

    I'd live on a sustainable farm trading my produce with other sustainable farmers. and growing my own vegetables.

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  5. What a wonderful list of aspirations. They say so much about you as a person - who you are & who you are defining & shaping yourself to be. I hope that whatever you choose to do with your life, that those things will be part of it, because they express your true beauty & passion - the real you!

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  6. I think that you should follow your dreams, as Hallmark as that sounds. When I began university I started with Social Work simply to get a job. I regret that so much now. It wasn't what I really wanted to do at all. But what I did want to do (English lit or creative writing) seemed much too risky.
    So I say do exactly what you want! Your list? You could make all of that happen if you just take a chance :) xoxo

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  7. Wow, guys! I am feeling overjoyed at how much feedback I am getting. It makes me feel like I'm not just talking to myself! Thankyou for your encouragement, and yes, I agree. I should do stuff FOR ME!

    Thankyou to Deidre for sharing what she would do! That sounds like a great plan. I think my Dad would have a similar dream, actually!

    Thankyou to Kayla who has a very similar story to me. For me, teaching seems like just a job, with English literature and creative writing seeming like an unrealistic but idyllic option! Well, I'm going to study English literature! I WILL DO IT. And I WILL write. Just get through all the education and then live! (Here I am, giving myself a pep talk.) Thankyou, all of you, for your love. Take care, and the best of luck to all of you with your dreams, too.

    Love from The Book Florist.

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