Despite many many assurances and even one psychic prediction, I did not get a position as either school captain or vice captain. Needless to say, I am disappointed, but it wasn't entirely a surprise. The girls who did get in are great girls; both all rounders with good relationships with their teachers and the principal. And I'm pleased with both the boys, as one of my close friends got vice and the school captain is very gentlemanly, chivalrous, well-spoken, well-read, and fairly, dare I say it, handsome. I can rest assured that his uncanny knack of wording things beautifully will produce some meltingly good speeches next year. I'm happy.
But I suppose that even despite my qualms, the many enthusiastic and warm encouragements of my friends, (who have all formed themselves into a sort of campaigning management team! oh gosh!) had led me to dare to hope it might have turned out differently...
I am very aware that because all four of the captains are quite close to home with me, it is going to be an ongoing regret for me. But in a way, and I will tell you how, I am nearly grateful.
Of course, both of my parents have made me understand how much less I will have to worry about, being free from that weighty responsibility, and I know that they're perfectly right. But there is something so much deeper than that.
They told us in assembly. Sitting in rows of grades and classes on the ground in the basketball court, I was directly in front of one of my best friends. Just as they were about to reveal the winner of the last female position, she took my hand and squeezed it just as hard as I needed. I squeezed back and waited. Yes. That meant everything to me.
When we had learnt who of the candidates had been short listed several weeks ago, one of my close friends didn't make it. This was such a shock to me because she was the one person I had been sure would go the whole way. I was so disappointed for her, and I gave her a great hug. I told her "You deserved it more than anyone in the shortlist. You were my first choice from the start". And that was that.
Today, she took me up in a great hug and said "You deserved it more than anyone up there. You were my first choice from the start." Well, you know what? I think that I'm glad I didn't make it. Just to hear those perfectly sincere, heart-warming words of compassion and friendship was worth it. It meant more to me than getting captain.
I have learnt something amazing about my friends today. They don't need any exciting reason like that to value me. They are real friends, who will care for me anyway. To really properly realise that is by far the best outcome.